Marriage

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters

4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead

7. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it

8. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

9. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

10. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

11. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

12. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

13. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

14. Before marriage, a man 'yearns' for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

15. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

16. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.