Something on my mind...

Recently, I was reading some old friends' blogs, and I felt left out....

Have you ever try to keep in touch with old friends (ones who were really close with you when you were young)? I do that... I love trying to find my old friends and messaging them, wanting to let them know that I still remember them and I think about them occassionally, but ironically, they don't feel the same way. When they think of their old friends, I'm always left out.

When I read their blogs or hear about them through somebody else, it always seems that I have been left out. When my old friends, who I thought were my best friends back then, talk or write about their old friends, I'm always unmentioned. They talk about ALL their old friends, every single ones in the clique/group, except me. They post lots of pictures of their old best friends, and I'm not in there.

Would that make you feel awful? Would that make you feel sick? Would that make you feel like you are not important at all? Would that make you feel like you've been betrayed? Would that make you feel like you don't belong?

I guess the friends who I thought were my best friends didn't think I was their best friends after all...

It's not about whether we've moved on, made new friends... You remember your close friends from elementary school, jr. high, or high school right? the closest ones? I bet when they talk about old friends, they would always mention you.

But if ALL your old close friends forget to mention you when their talking about the past, and not just once or twice, but every single time when they mention the past, there is something wrong.
That's how I feel now... may be nobody likes me before, but somehow I still thought they were my best friends...

And making new friends doesn't fill up this hole in my past.. may be I should stop trying to contact old friends. sigh.